'Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.'
~Winston Churchill~
Though it could be a bonus to always have a prime view of cute bums, it gets a little boring and annoying after a while. Looking up seems so intimidating if they are particularly tall. Being at that height puts a different perspective on everything. It is at child's height, but far less fun. They might bear a smile and grin to take it with grace, but we're not talking about dancing munchkins from the Land of Oz. It's a reality to 41,000 people in Canada who live in a wheelchair from either accident or from birth. One in three Canadians have a connection to someone with spinal cord injuries.
Most people, the walkies, have few ideas of how they should show proper etiquette to people in wheelchairs. Don't automatically talk about them when they are sitting right beside an able-bodied person. Might be shorter, but it's always rude to talk over someone's head, metaphorically or otherwise. They are people like anyone else you meet on the street: Nor are they in the least way any less intelligent. In fact, with a bit more steely determination to deal with challenges. Fortitude runs out occasionally, but more so, they still manage to draw up hope, endurance, and cheerfulness again. Helen Keller, an amazing advocate for the deaf and blind, put it more elegantly then I could. 'We could never learn to be brave and patient, if there were only joy in the world.'
I was only wheeling around in my friend's chair for an hour, but it long enough to notice there would be a lot of frustrations quickly enough. Reaching up for a plate or cup from the kitchen cabinets is next to impossible or a good way to bring the whole stack of plates crashing down on you. It's almost embarrassing sometimes to have to call someone over to help you all the time. Consideration to help with few questions is just as important as anticipating others' needs and abilities to do things on their own. Etiquette and hospitality to see to someone else's comfort should not just be something in a hostess' job description.
Talking to my friend has taught me a lot. I did not quote her directly as I was not thinking that I should have until after. So I summarized and made sure I got the gist of it with her. There are somethings that you cannot even imagine from not being in a wheelchair all the time. Having someone kick your chair as they walk by. Could you imagine? Not even consciously. Just walking by, it's like, it's a three foot tall wheel, dumbarse, how could you miss it? You don't kick strollers, why kick a wheelchair. Surely not on purpose, but would it hurt to apologize?
Someone in a chair might be out of your direct line of vision, but you can usually notice someone approaching in your peripherals? Move. Do it as if you were standing blocking the way of anyone else. Don't give a stunned look and stare, you are likely being rather rude. Apologizing profusely and jumping out of the way like you were liable to get run-over is a good way to exasperate someone. The response might be 'it's OK, don't worry about being in my way.' But the thought is 'look, my driving in this chair is probably better then you driving your car on the road.'
Good intentions can become completely exacerbating like a foot in the mouth. Oh and please refrain 'from telling children to be careful while I pass' as if the chair will suddenly swerve out of control. It is worse then jumping out of the way. 'Children are more likely to swerve unexpectedly then I ever will.'
Be not fooled it would be a disadvantage to be lower to the ground. A custom designed wheelchair has a tighter turning radius then an Indy race-car. Able to turn on the spot takes a swift counter-motion of the wheels. To twirl the hand-grips and coast is a bit of coordination. I cannot imagine trying to play basketball or rugby at the same time at the same time as keeping a steady motion without much practice, yet para-athletes excel.
On the practical, to glide down the hall is one thing, but most hallways are only made for one person to pass another at a time. Add half a foot for wheels and it's not so simple to slip by the other person. Going around the corners has a good chance of grazing or rapping knuckles on the wall if you cut it too close to the edge of the wall. The same annoyance comes from hitting doorways, automated doors, or tables in the arm.
It might have four wheels, but the wheelchair is liable to tip backwards and smack the head completely helplessly against the ground. Learning to pop a wheelie is essential to keeping balance if it starts to go backwards as well as losing fear of falling. Once you have gotten back on the horse, it is less frightening to know that it's not going to happen every time. Likewise with a wheelchair, best just to practice and learn.
Spend even fifteen minutes in a wheelchair and try to imagine not getting back up for any reason in daily life. A few statistics to leave those who think they are invincible in cars (55% of injuries are from collisions), sports (27% of injuries), or even just not wearing a helmet while riding their bikes (18% of injuries are from falls of all sorts). 1,100 people suffer spinal cord injuries every year in Canada. 84% of those people are under 35 years old. The Canadian health care system spends $1.25 million a year on helping people with spinal cord injuries and $25 million over each person's lifetime. Especially when 62% of those people become unemployed while they recover, retrain muscles to gain mobility, heal and come to terms with their new situation. Use your head or you might be finding out first-hand a new meaning to frustration and adversity to overcome.
On a far happier note, we still have much to learn. 90% of spinal cord injury knowledge has been discovered in the last twenty years towards a cure. Researchers believe they will find a way to regenerate the spinal cord within 10 years. 'If you believe in a dream and have the courage to try, great things can be accomplished. Anything is possible.' – Rick Hansen.
A more personal sweet thought is in the best perk for my friend who has taught me so much so far. People give more respect to someone in a wheelchair then before she was in a chair. They go out of their way to help or even just to say hi and smile. Everyone has challenges in their lives. It's much easier going if you keep on rolling and enjoy the ride instead of complaining. Life is a struggle, but why dwell on it? All I ask is to have a little more respect for those who live lower to the deck in a wheelchair.
