Under cover where news extrodinaire pt 2

According to a tow-truck driver, a pair of girls phoned AMA last week saying they were stranded on the Deerfoot flat car tire.

This call requires two tow-trucks during rush-hour as one needed to block a lane so the second tow truck driver changes the tire safely.

This would be fine in theory if there had actually been a flat tire.

As the tow truck driver inspected all four tires with the two girls were tripping out still.

It was doubly apparent they were quite stoned when they explained they ran into bumpy sludge on the outside lane and thought the car had flat tires.

The tow truck drivers weren't impressed at all.


In Safeway news, a man dressed to the nines as Santa Claus came early to Kennsington stumbled around Safeway and had to be escorted off the premise. Love asking that question in line-up to learn about the weirdos that come into buy groceries.


Still confusion reigns to why girls are wearing short skirts in -37C wind chill. A woolen coat doesn't help keep your knees warm for the sake of fashion get some 80s ballerina socks if you must. I feel cold just seeing them.


In random entertainment, getting into the holiday spirit watching A Muppet Christmas Carol was amusing. It's apparent there is cruelty against puppets as Izzy the rat gets beaten up so much it's sad and predictable at the same time. Michael Caine is a prick of a scourge, but obviously enjoyed himself hanging out with non-furry ewoks. Three thumbs up for random musical fun.

Next up will be Die Hard 2 - airport terrorists can't keep John McClain (not the scary 2nd place winner of nothing in recent president race) from getting home for the holidays. It's a Wonderful Life and Charlie Brown's sad tree are soon to commence. No news happens at -40C unless it's a car wreck so please be careful if you must be out there.

Undercover of Under where? News Brief Extraordinaire pt1

For once someone answered correctly when I asked has anything crazy happened lately? This will start up again ^_^

A gentleman with a sword was escorted out of Safeway in Kennsington last week.

He was all psychotic, stumbling and mumbling around the store according to the eye witness cashier as I paid for my groceries yesterday.

The sword sheathed and he wasn't wearing strange garb so that rules out medieval club activity.

Though he was non-threatening, yet spacey and not in a good way.

Much better entertainment than an old lady yelling at me to get out of the way of her out-of-control 2 mph shopping cart, I kid not.

There was two rent-a-cop posted at the door instead of one.

Now awaiting to hear over the intercom, ninja duel clean-up in aisle three.

Truth is stranger indeed.

surreal ctrain station

(reposting some stuff from my facebook notes because I'd like to fill out my blog a bit more right away so here's some retro stuff)

"everyone's beautiful, see lot of ugly people on the street, with a little love they wouldn't be so ugly, wouldn't be so broken" ~long beach shortbus


Yours truly reporting long after the c-train riders was stuck with an awkward social situation that probably normal everyday life if arriving at the infamous 8th street station.

People milling off the train hesistating and then taking a different route, sighs of exasperation and pity, hedging around to exit down different stairs.

Decency to go around instead of stepping over the passed out guy draped over having tumbled up the stairs.

Surreal how people just didn't know what to do. So they didn't remain around and be bothered. After all, it was after lunch break so they probably had to get back to work, fair enough.

Having to do something, this citizen had to make contact and see if the guy was still alive, and just barely.

Tapping, and then smacking the curled up hand, yelling "are you okay" got no response, so searching and finding a fast pacing pulse, an odd sensation.

While phoning EMS, it was hard to figure out why people were giving a second glance at the odd gesture -- though it seemed a few of his friends came and checked that someone was calling 9-1-1.

A few moments later, the PA speakers came on asking someone to step forward to the emergency button and assist the transit authorities in dealing with an emergency.

The speaker had to ask four times.

Meanwhile, still on the phone with the 9-1-1 operator, this reporter had a guilty thought of not wanting to be late for a doctor's appointment.

Yet stuck around as asked to describe age, gender and location. checking breathing, chance of choking on vomit and if there was any visual response, which there was none.

Wasn't sure what to do if the operator had asked for CPR to be done. Learned lesson of why to carry a resusitation mask but there was no need.

The cop showed up and went about getting this guy's attention.

Not responding to prodding with foot or shaking, so lightly wacked in the solar plex, the guy groggly roll over and tell the cop where he could stick it.

The cop knew him by name.

As he roughly hauled him to his feet, the foul awakening cursing of the cop got him handcuffed and searched less gently.

By this time, paramedics had shown up for another false alarm.

The paramedics knew him by name too.

They reassured him they were taking him for a warm shower back at the shelter, which was what the guy lacked.

It seemed the show was finished and over a dozen people left shaking their heads and muttering about wasting tax-payer resources on the wasted.

At the same time, the rough act of force seemed to contradict as the cop stayed with the paramedics to make sure he was ok to walk while he scolded the guy to look after himself better.

It's frustrating to see a life almost completely gone down the tube, when the guy seemed about the same age as this reporter.

The phrase, "but for the good Grace of God, there am I" rung a little truer.

graduated? thanks!

A piece of paper says my name on the diploma, but the full shock of having finally completed something in post-secondary education is still yet to sink in that I completed something. Extra years of general arts in college were awesome when deciding my path by working the student newspaper.

Emotions of incredibly happily knowing I've finished Journalism school completely thrilling and freaky to be done as a student. Wanted to bust a cartwheel across the stage, but walked and shook hands with the president of the tech school but I busted a move leaving the stage instead.

Was incredibly awesome to have my immediate family come from Victoria for the week and while I wish I could have seen more of extended family and friends, I'll head back to the island this summer and catch up, because they were the ones keeping me sane and they mean so much, the music helped too.

Finished despite a 50/50 program drop-out rate and I'm pretty stoked for it: getting through all the set-backs, agonizing decisions, making mistakes and finding faith at midnight to keep going nevertheless. So grateful for friends, instructors, administrators and mentors who helped me along the way at SAIT.

After many assignments written, research and practicums done, a few too many nights partying at rock shows later, I've met so many wonderful people and realized the SAIT chapter is written and finished. However like a hobbit there and back again, there's so much more I'll be writing of adventure.

Don't even know where to begin with shout-outs because it would read like a minor hollywood production crew because I'm so humbly aware of how it takes a village to raise a child and now I'll be passing on and helping other people. Now the road is open and the opportunities over the horizon endless.

to be continued ^_^

clean church jokes (a rare occurance these days)

9 Jokes That Can Be Told In Church

Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, "Why is the bride dressed in white?" "Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life." The child thought about this for a moment then said, "So why the groom wearing black?"

A little girl, dressed in her Sunday best, was running as fast as she could, trying not to be late for Bible class. As she ran she prayed, "Dear Lord, please don't let me be late! Dear Lord, please don't let me be late!" While she was running and praying, she tripped on a curb and fell, getting her clothes dirty and tearing her dress. She got up, brushed herself off, and started running again! As she ran she once again began to pray "Dear Lord, please don't let me be late...But please don't shove me either!"

Three boys are in the school yard bragging about their fathers. The first boy says, "My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, they give him $50." The second boy says, "That's nothing. My Dad scribbles a few words on piece of paper, he calls it a song, they give him $100." The third boy says, "I got you both beat. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a sermon, and it takes eight people to collect all the money!"

An elderly woman died last month. Having never married, she requested no male pallbearers. In her handwritten instructions for her memorial service, she wrote, "They wouldn't take me out while I was alive, I don't want them to take me out when I'm dead."

A police recruit was asked during the exam, "What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?" He answered, "Call for backup."

A Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph and Mary took Jesus with them to Jerusalem. A small child replied, "They couldn't get a baby-sitter."

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "Honor thy father and thy mother," she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat, one little boy answered, "Thou shall not kill."

At Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything, including human beings. Little Johnny seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam's ribs. Later in the week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill, and she said, "Johnny, what is the matter?" Little Johnny responded, "I have pain in my side. I think I'm going to have a wife."

Two boys were walking home from Sunday school after hearing a strong preaching on the devil. One said to the other, "What do you think about all this Satan stuff?" The other boy replied, "Well, you know how Santa Claus turned out. It's probably just your Dad."

You don't stop laughing because you grow old. You grow old because you stop laughing! Take heed and pass these along to people who need a laugh.

Dear Planet Earth

I have an apology or two to make about my dorm-hardy rubber plant. I haven't been good to my little plant. Admitting wrong-doing is first step to change and this crazy Earth Hour idea is a step in the right direction for looking after planet.

I admit my little plant has endured far more than it ever deserved when I brought some more life into my surroundings. It can bounce back like a rubber ball and it proved hardy despite falling off the window sill, being tossed across the room by inebriated room-mates and even fed booze on occasion.

Yet through the madness, it's survived almost a year. I water it once a day or so. If I forgot to water it for a few too many days, it doesn't complain. Its leaves make quiet droopy protest, but bounce back if cared for properly.

Not so sure what to do about the rest of the planet if one student can forget so easily about a house-plant. Earth Hour proves how wasteful we are as humans with electricity bills alone. If consumption and power generation can drop by 10-15 per cent in one evening of the year for one hour, why stop now?

If we all lower our house-lights’ wattage, switching off unnecessary lights the other 364 days of the year, it wouldn't be some fancy feel-good one night stand of a demonstration. Though awareness, a billion people in 85 countries made a dent in short-term.

Gives me more hope seeing the small effort my plant is now twice as tall despite occasional neglect.

Within reason, if the population keeps at change and remembers each night to keep the lights down low, the world could bounce back a bit quicker with proper care, to a healthier green glow.

Reflective thought on Family Day

Whether you're very religious or not, apparently Saint Theresa is known as the Saint of the Little Ways. She believed in doing the little things in life well and with great love as anyone knows from doing any gardening or looking after children. Fittingly, she is also patron saint of flower growers and florists. Mother Theresa is represented by roses. Fitting for Valentine's day and being Family day weekend in most of the country.

St. Theresa's Prayer:
'May today there be peace within. May you trust that you are exactly where you are meant to be.
May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith in yourself and others.
May you use the gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you.
May you be content with yourself just the way you are.
Let this knowledge settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love.
It is there for each and every one of us.'

Kinda like to think that I see some of those little random acts of kindness and joy that happen without much fanfare and acknowledgment. Little stuff: a couple of love-birds kissing at the c-train station; sometimes how there are too many volunteers for Mustard Seed and other agencies to be able to accommadate them all; people donating so much during tragedies and operations people can't afford; a couple flying a kite with their small child; or someone helping a little old lady across the street. Makes up for all the terrible and grumpy things that get reported in the news.

Take care and think of Mother Theresa being able to start so much into motion by her self-less-ness for those left without families and still having time to smell the flowers.

Gooday

Editorial on Atheist Bus Ads

There is probably no God so stop worrying and enjoy your life.

That's what the atheists group wants to put an advertisement on buses and like it won't be offensive to the other 75 per cent of the population.

Why be so rude to imply that anyone with faith is unhappy?

There is little point in arguing that one faction is trying to force it down others' collective throat, so why is an atheist group allowed a pre-empative strike.

To make a public ad message on the side of a bus is only going to start a flame war which religious groups will take as a red cape to charge.

Trying to justify opening healthy dialogue to question faith is a weak excuse to denounce someone else's core values and belittle them.

What atheists fail to grasp is the fact that others may have other beliefs which may also be true.

Talking to an atheist who argues how strength comes from within man and he must rely upon his own wits because nothing else in the universe will help him.

If it is so illogical to trust in a higher power of such an ignorent outdated deity, then why do so many millions of intelligent people choose as adults to retain their faith?

Obviously Christ, Mohammad, and Buddha, along with the multitude of other religions and belief systems spoke some truth in teachings of compassion, love for fellow human beings, and trust that there is a meaning to all the chaos.

To write off those religious ideals as illogical mumbo jumbo is rather narrow-minded and illogical in itself.

So in the name of freedom of speech, let the atheists show their true colours.

wasn`t the rest of the world out of focus

Was having trouble with clearly reading street and exit ramp signs without speeding up to see them better, so I got an eye exam finally after two weeks of avoiding it.

Not blind as a bat out of hell on the freeway, I`ve just attributed my stressed out vision to reading and photo-editing too much as I have to take more frequent breaks.

Though I`m not afraid of blindness, having run around in heavy welders` goggles and into a wall in college for fun, it would be a dampener on my photography career.

As I sat down and the optomitrist put up lines of letters for me to read, I was ready to protest I can barely read anyways.

T, Y, F, R, P were stupidly similiar as were O, Q, C, G, D as I was getting annoyed with reading the bottom lines when I used to have 26/20 vision at the beginning of college.

He wished many people`s IQ would go up with glasses yet the doctor looked at me oddly as I said, at least it`s not stigmata. Astigmatism isn`t so bad as I thought.

Amazingly, my brain has been working overtime to balance out my warped cornea refracting light off axis by .090 as my lenses were off -0.50 on the left and -0.25 on the right. It`s crazy how it manages to flip the image as well, but the body can adapt so much.

And some people wonder if my brain`s working at all, no merely too hard as usual. Yet, the counter-effect has taken some getting used to now.

It`s been a bit trippy re-adjusting to the differences in seeing eveything in my own room, which I thought I could see, but now there`s so many little details I`ve missed from fuzz on stuffed animals to textures on my bed.

Was suddenly in trouble as I noticed girls` individual eyelashes and my girlfriend thought I was checking them out. I was just surprised that I could see so much better with snowflakes, fine print (it wasn`t just legalese confusing me) and people from more than ten feet away.

Sharp as tack is embarrassing after the realization I`ve submitted slightly blurry photo portfolios to city editors and confused my photo instructors for over-sharpening and too contrasty photos.

It`s funny how much you take for granted. I thought I was still sleepy when I missed spots while shaving, fuzzy text from staring at a computer monitor editing for too long, or even taking too many breaks while reading short-stories after too many textbooks.

Was so happy from the moment I put on a pair of glasses and didn`t have to work so hard to read. Technology is cool. Okay so it`s nothing new, but I didn`t know it was 600 years old.

Thank a few monks, Italians, Germans and British, for refining optics for wearing. Not a surprise that the glass guild in Venice were making reading lenses, a German thinker figured out why lenses corrected sight problems, and that a British astronomer figured out how to correct astigmatism. I drink to them. Go to wikipedia and learn about glasses and stuff!

Here I was thinking the rest of the world couldn't be seeing situations clearly. Lobbing terrorist funding pirate boarding hooks, rocket missiles and tank shells, and insults at our neighbours seems like fuzzy logic to me. However, it isn't as easy as a trip to the optomitrist or pub to work out differences and see it straight.

I'll figure out the rest of the world later. It could be worse as my 65 year old aunt is waiting for cataract surgury. Still driving stubbornly and slowing down to read road signs and guess when her street is coming up. Thanks, mom. I feel better knowing I was driving like an retiree and I'm not even in Victoria anymore.

Improv Everywhere? One can only hope!

NOTE: this was done as an warm-up exercise through interviews & reactions off the video from the website mentioned in article. I really do plan to do more! Enjoy!

A street prank group called Improv Everywhere leisurely strolled through Home Depot in New York with 200 participants shopping for home improvement in slow motion.

During a slow afternoon on Sunday on August 19, 2006, employees and fellow shoppers at the 23rd Street hardware store in Manhattan were left wondering if they were in a space/time warp or on drugs.

The action, complete with hidden cameras to record unsuspecting people's reactions, were at synchronized five minutes intervals.

"What are they doing? What's going on?” said one shopper as she freaked out to her boyfriend. “Is this some kind of street theatre or am I on drugs?"

Most ironic moment occurred in a song "Am I Standing Still", by the poet singer Jewel, pouring over in-store PA speakers a few moments before pranksters went into phase two, frozen motion.

Original prankster and orchestrater of the act, "Agent Todd" was still surprised by the effect of his terracotta prank army, as past settings have been in McDonald's, Best Buy, Starbucks, and Barnes & Noble.

"I hadn't noticed how quiet the store had gotten. Over 200 customers were dead silent," he said. "When the five minutes ended, everyone instantly sprang to life and began talking to their shopping companions. For a moment, it was as if the world was moving in fast forward."

Agent Todd, feigning innocence as a confused shopper with a small digital camera, interviewed some of the employees who had no idea what was going on.

"They were standing there looking at stuff, but completely not moving," said an employee. "They didn't seem to need any help."

The key to the act was to appear that nothing was out of the ordinary, but for one participant, he got a more heart-felt moment than he expected.

"I didn't know what to do, because there were half a dozen elderly people around me with walkers or in electric wheelchairs," he said.

The prankster was walking equally as slow or lifting up an item at the same rate the older people around him.

"I saw one lady in an electric scooter nearby who was really slow, and I felt horrible like I was mocking her."

Instead, the lady slowly raised one hand and waved to him and he returned the wave in slow motion.

"She just smiled and scooted off," he said with a grin, "it was a great feeling."

According to their website, http://www.improveverywhere.com 'missions' are about spreading "chaos and joy people can talk about ten years from now."

Their harmless stunts, such as an annual No Pants Subway Ride and a poker game in a pool at Ceasars' Palace in Las Vegas -- complete with floating table, waist-deep prank participant dealer and cocktail waitress in heels -- attract hundreds of volunteers out for a lark.

According to Agent Todd “most [Home Depot] employees either laughed or thought they were going "crazy," or both.”

The smiles and momentary confusion on people caught in the middle of the scene were priceless by all accounts.