Wednesday 8 October 2008

Sir Edmund Hillary Slumbers Outside City Hall's Steps

He was so stone drunk, tired, hungry and almost lost his will for living.

One of his friends was trying to shake him to wake up and go get dinner at the drop-in centre.

Watched his buddy for a few minutes trying to rouse him. Dead to the world wearing a dirty sweater and white jeans. No clue how they were still reasonable white.

Sighed and walked up as everyone else walked around him passed out under the tree.

Shook him on the shoulder, no response. Tapped him hard on the foot and got a groan of response.

At least he was still alive, which was my more immediate thought to check that he was still breathing.



First thing he could say was got any beer. Sighed and said nope, looks like you've had enough already. He nodded and grunted when I asked if he had a pretty good headache. Rubbed his belly like he could cure queasy feelings in his stomach.

Dried snot, unshaven silver scruff and beard, tanned face scarred and sore. Barely able to keep his eyes open.

This was 5PM and he was long gone done. Not even welfare Wednesday and he was out of it, he couldn't remember his name even though I asked half a dozen times.

Three women stopped and asked if help was coming for him. I just replied kind of. I was surprised they even stopped to ask if he was okay.

There was a city commissionaire nearby eyeing him as I was trying to get him to sit up so he could clear his head.

The lady selling hot-dogs said not to even bother, he does this every day.

Kept asking for food even though he was probably so much more thirsty that he'd probably throw it up.

Managed to get him to roll almost getting him to push himself up onto his knees. Saw I didn't have any food and rolled over throwing a fit.

Tried to fake going back to sleep as I wasn't going to buy him anything.

So broke and hungry. Ya well I'm a student and I'm just about as broke and hungry.

Managed to finally get him to standing up. His friend had given up by this point.

He wandered over to the hot-dog stand and started harassing her to give him some food.

She'd have nothing of it and scolded him to go away as he'd already stolen enough cans of pop from her this week.

A girl came up and offered to buy him a hot-dog, but the lady said don't do that, he knows he's not getting to get anywhere trying to beg around here.

The girl tried to insist, but the vendor stayed firm in saying he knows he can get free food at the drop-in centre but he's too lazy to go over there, that's his problem.

I was oddly glad she didn't give in as nobody should continue to keep him thinking that free handouts should be expected. Can't live in this world for free.

Followed the girl back to the bus stop and I got his attention before the girl's boyfriend strode up between the guy and his girl.

At this point the commissionaire had moved in. The guy was all annoyed and wasn't sure if he should be annoyed at now.

Told him you might not make too much of a scene right now.

Started going on about how he couldn't get any respect anymore. I was thinking, maybe once upon a time, but not since you stopped being sober at mid-afternoon.

Didn't we know who Sir Hilary was? Commissionaire was like who's that. That's me. Ok.... I asked if he was talking about the guy who climbed Mount Everest.

I was staring blankly at him wondering if he had any idea how disillusioned he was acting.

The old adage, only a person who doubts his sanity is still sane. The insane person never even questions inner voices.

Ya that was me climbing that mountain. And he stood straight up and to attention managing to make a perfect Canadian military salute to the commissionaire who was less than impressed.

Ya this is unit two, come in? He spoke calmly into the walkie talkie.

The guy was waving his arms at this point going don't f___k me around I'm Sir Hilary yelling at anyone who happened to be walking by and jumping back startled.

The poor girl had walked off quickly after figuring out that I was in the same journalism program. A first year. Welcome to journalism, where strange things are normalcy.

I'm like buddy you might wanna settle down if you don't want to go the drunk tank. He slowed down his ranting as the commissionaire was quickly explaining the situation. Could you send unit three?

Quick as liquid mercury, two well built police officers wearing black leather gloves appeared out of nowhere. The guy knew the game was up and went over to tell the officers he was Sir Hilary and deserved some respect.

They escorted him off and all I could do was send up a prayer for him that he'd be okay after he sobered up.

I was thinking that he can't even figure out which way is up or the fact that food costs money. What happened in his life that caused him to give up living and trying to earn a paycheque. What caused him to go crazy.

Took a guess of his nationality and figure he was west coast native. Had such soft and sweaty hands when I tried to help him up. Hasn't done much work lately.

That was last Tuesday, I just don't know what the heck anyone is actually going to do to help him and I wouldn't bet money on it that he's still there today too.

It makes me really appreciate how much I have to be thankful as this weekend approaches for how my friends and family help me out.

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